Feminists the world over are stunned; we don't yet know what the 5 real men left in the world think, as they are deep in a state of confusion around why any vertebrate creature would think being a pussy around women (fyi:those are grown girls) would get men good sex when so far it has only resulted in sneers, disrespect, and very classy finger-down-the-throat gestures. Athletes and movie stars the world over report, pulling a girls hair and slamming her safely against a wall results in much more satisfactory results for both men and women.
JB: Notice it does not say women who wear the pants have 'bad' or 'worse' sex lives. It says they have THE WORST sex lives.
I just LOVE how the author tries to 'spin' the article that women are too 'busy' and 'stressed' for sex. Uh, if I was a woman, I would ELIMINATE THE STRESS AND WORK, NOT THE SEX! WTF?
Women who 'wear the pants' have the worst sex lives
by The_Stir, on Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:18am PDT
True or false: The more household decisions a woman makes, the less sex she has. According to a new study from Johns Hopkins University, that statement is spot-on. More specifically, researchers say that the more decisions a woman reported making on her own, as compared to through joint decision-making, the less likely she was to have sex and the longer it was since she last got it on. In fact, more dominant and assertive women had approximately 100 times less sex. WOW!
You'd think empowered women would be having MORE sex, because they're more confident and in control of their wants and desires. It's important to note, though, that this study was done in African countries, and so, I'm not quite sure the findings from women over there are directly comparable to here in the U.S. However, the research does raise an interesting point.
More from The Stir: Are You Having Enough Sex?
First of all, let's just get this one thing out of the way. I don't think it has anything to do with how hubbies are "turned off" by a woman running the show at home (even though you'd think that was the case from the way studies like these are reported). If these take-charge ladies aren't having sex, it's probably because they don't want to or they're simply not prioritizing it ... which is fine.
More from The Stir: One of the Most Detested Sex Acts is Actually Good for Women
But if they're not having as much sex as they would LIKE to be having, then it's a different story. In those cases, the pants-wearing women are probably so set on and stressed out by being a multitasking Superwoman that they forget to take care of themselves and their intimate relationship with their partner. Women who run the household completely, who don't partake in "joint decision-making" -- whether it's because they feel like they have to do everything themselves or they just don't want to be bothered with hashing things out with their hubby -- probably aren't making joint decisions in the bedroom either. What a mistake!
It's difficult for me to even imagine a household where one partner solely carries the weight of ALL the big decisions. (Really, does that even exist anymore?) I grew up hearing my parents hash most financial, healthcare, family plans, etc. out together. Similarly, my boyfriend and I approach everything from negotiating our rent to dealing with a wonky health insurance claim as a team. That attitude certainly extends to the bedroom.
More from The Stir: No Sex? This May Be Why
So, it actually comes as no surprise women who choose to skip joint decision-making have crappier sex lives. After all, as the cliche goes, it takes two to tango.
JB: I like the summation most of all. I'm sorry honey, but the research doesn't claim couples who "skip joint decision-making have crappier sex lives." So starting with that basis doesn't work here. The article says "the more decisions a woman reported making on her own, as compared to through joint decision-making, the less likely she was to have sex and the longer it was since she last got it on." That means as she makes more sole decisions - without consulting her husband - she has less sex - as the "alpha role" moves from him to her. Nature defines an alpha role; its not my invention. Women love alphas. Please. Its a fact. Want to compare how many women athletes and politicians or CEOs sleep with compared to Joe Sixpack?Written by Maressa Brown on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
In reality, many (mostly non-alpha) men rather hate playing alpha all the time - when you make all the decisions, you also bear ALL the responsibility, especially when you're decisions blow up in your face (a little something the article leaves out).
And conversely, when a man is making good decisions, then his partner is relieved from making them - she feels relaxed and cared for; he feels his testosterone throb; turns out this is good for sex (who would've thought!)
I'm not saying the couple needs an emperor or dictator and it should be the man. Its simply a biological fact that women who want kids (you're probably not there yet dear), are attracted to powerful men who take charge and provide. No one need be offended; its just mother nature's way. As I said above, its not a blessing for most men. Men don't make every decision correctly and everyone's happy to blame him when things go wrong; further most men I know are happy to let their wives decide what to do at least some of the time: they're relieved.
Here's another fact for you: when men insist a woman make ALL the decisions? That's a recipe for a PISSED OFF WOMAN. Women resent having all the responsibility. They feel its unfair (but not when the man has it - he's supposed to bear it). And a pissed off woman doesn't sleep with a man she resents. AT ALL. Period.
No one is saying women don't, or shouldn't, have a voice in decisions (that's obviously asnine). But if you're claiming everything should be 50/50, you are #1: all alone on that one and #2: out of touch with most young women these days. Young women didn't grow up being told they were inept and therefore they didn't develop some need to prove themselves, unlike many of their mothers who were raised in the 60s, at the height of the women's liberation movement (your mom picked or else wanted to pick an alpha-male anyway - just ask her). No, these young women have accomplished plenty and they're happy to sit back and play wife when they hit 28-35. They have nothing to prove. But throw them a moping, unsure, indecisive man who's begging to cooperate because he's not confident about his own decision-making ability. That is sure to piss them off (and also ruin their sex life, now according to science).
Also, get out of the house a bit more, madame.